TexasEscapes.com HOME Welcome to Texas Escapes
A magazine written by Texas
Custom Search
New   |   Texas Towns   |   Ghost Towns   |   Counties   |   Trips   |   Features   |   Columns   |   Architecture   |   Images   |   Archives   |   Site Map

Txas Trips
Texas Trips




Counties
Texas Counties

Towns a-Z
Texas Towns
A - Z
Texas | Columns | "Quips and Salsa"

A summer staycation travel guide

by Jase Graves
Jase Graves

Are you tired of financing a tank of gas? Are you afraid your armpits might burst into flames if you leave the air-conditioned confines of your home? Or maybe, like our family, you blew a decade's worth of vacation savings on a trip to New York City over the Christmas holidays, and you're still having night terrors about subway rats dancing to Broadway show tunes. Whatever your reasons, if you are in the midst of a summer staycation this year, the following is a brief guide for enjoying the exotic destination of your home address.

First, a staycation is all about relaxing, and what better place to find the ultimate form of relaxation than in your bedroom-sleeping-a lot? Let's face it. We often return from traditional vacations totally drained—and not just in the wallet area. On a staycation, you can avoid that kind of financial and physical exhaustion by sleeping as late as humanly possible. In fact, if you still have teens or partially-grown persons at home (who are famous for their general slothfultude), you can make it a family competition. First one out of bed cooks breakfast—or afternoon brunch!

And speaking of brunch, it's important to get a sense of your destination's culture by sampling the local cuisine (whatever's in the fridge and/or pantry that hasn't reached its expiration date). Here in the South, where we often throw cardiac health to the wind, biscuits with gravy is considered a delicacy. Since the object here is to enjoy yourself, why not go a little crazy and have both the canned and frozen variety of biscuits? And if you're feeling really extravagant (and carb-deficient), you can whip up some chocolate gravy and force one of your children to stir it for thirty minutes while it cooks. To add a touch of elegance to the meal, break out the fine China—or Chinet (or anything not made by Dixie).

Once the first meal of the day is done at around 2:00 PM, it's time for some adventure as you enjoy the indigenous wildlife-namely your pets. Experience the excitement of examining tracks (sometimes in the form of droppings), listening to their calls (as they whimper to go outside to potty), or cautiously approaching the Siamese, Maltese or indeterminate terrier mixed breed with a shedding brush and flea drops in hand. The idea is to irritate your pets enough so that they are relieved when your family returns to work and school.

Finally, it's time to end the day with some bonding in the form of "family game night" held in the luxurious accommodations of your living room. Our gang enjoys the "Let's order a pizza, leave each other alone and stare at our phones until bedtime" game. The beauty of this game is that the whole family can participate, everyone wins and if someone feels the need to communicate, a simple text will do.

As this travel guide demonstrates, you don't have to spend lots of money, deal with the hassles of the airlines or undergo the pressures of actually trying to have fun when you settle for a well-air-conditioned summer staycation. All it takes is a semi-comfortable mattress, a can of biscuits, a pet—or two—or three and some good old fashioned unmanaged screen time.

Bon voyage!
Jase Graves
"Quips and Salsa" 7-24-2023 column



Jase Grave's "Quips and Salsa" columns
Humor


  • Amarillo by Suppertime 7-11-23
  • A love letter to my generator 6-26-23
  • My rock still tries to roll 6-13-23
  • Big Box Blues 5-30-23
  • How to "un-dorm" a college student 5-16-23

    more »


  • Texas Escapes Online Magazine »   Archive Issues » Home »
    TEXAS TOWNS & COUNTIES TEXAS LANDMARKS & IMAGES TEXAS HISTORY & CULTURE TEXAS OUTDOORS MORE
    Texas Counties
    Texas Towns A-Z
    Texas Ghost Towns

    TEXAS REGIONS:
    Central Texas North
    Central Texas South
    Texas Gulf Coast
    Texas Panhandle
    Texas Hill Country
    East Texas
    South Texas
    West Texas

    Courthouses
    Jails
    Churches
    Schoolhouses
    Bridges
    Theaters
    Depots
    Rooms with a Past
    Monuments
    Statues

    Gas Stations
    Post Offices
    Museums
    Water Towers
    Grain Elevators
    Cotton Gins
    Lodges
    Stores
    Banks

    Vintage Photos
    Historic Trees
    Cemeteries
    Old Neon
    Ghost Signs
    Signs
    Murals
    Gargoyles
    Pitted Dates
    Cornerstones
    Then & Now

    Columns: History/Opinion
    Texas History
    Small Town Sagas
    Black History
    WWII
    Texas Centennial
    Ghosts
    People
    Animals
    Food
    Music
    Art

    Books
    Cotton
    Texas Railroads

    Texas Trips
    Texas Drives
    Texas State Parks
    Texas Rivers
    Texas Lakes
    Texas Forts
    Texas Trails
    Texas Maps
    USA
    MEXICO
    HOTELS

    Site Map
    About Us
    Privacy Statement
    Disclaimer
    Contributors
    Staff
    Contact Us

     
    Website Content Copyright Texas Escapes LLC. All Rights Reserved