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"Peary
Perry’s Guide to
Riches and Miracle Diet Plan"
by Peary Perry
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I don’t know
about you folks, but it certainly seems to me that each day that passes I get
more and more junk mail. Now, my sons, who are much younger, seem to get a pass
on the tons of medical stuff we receive at our house each and every day. I’m certain
there is some giant clearing house somewhere that knows our exact ages and has
done an exhaustive study on when certain of our parts are destined to wear out.
I
am sick of receiving these eight and ten page magazines that start off telling
you the name of some ‘miracle’ herb or ‘simple home remedy’ that will cure warts,
acid reflux, baldness and heart attacks. You start to read this information only
to find they have conveniently left off the names of these wonder products. You
have to subscribe to some expensive ‘medical newsletter’ of the month club in
order to get all of the information. I just throw them away without even looking
at them anymore. The same as I used to do with those magazine sweepstakes offers
that were going around years ago. How many useless magazines did we buy, hoping
that our name would be the lucky winner of that ten million dollar prize? I still
get a monthly magazine on golf and I’ve played the game about five times in my
entire life. It goes in the trash as well. Who has time to read all of that stuff?
It appears that the latest way to get me to open a letter is to enclose some sort
of little stickers or notepad. I am up to my ears in these things. I have address
stickers for Valentines, Memorial Day, July Fourth, Labor Day and certainly Christmas
and Thanksgiving. The notepads you can give away, but not the address stickers
with little flags, puppies and flowers and your name. No one but me can use them.
Nobody could possibly send out this many letters in a year. Haven’t these people
heard of e-mail?
As
always, I’ve been thinking about a home mail out that is certain to get the attention
of every living breathing American in this country. What you need is the right
combination of get rich quick combined with a weight loss product.
I
am going to call my new book….”Peary Perry’s Guide to Riches and Miracle Diet
Plan”.
What I envision is a sure fire plan to work at home and become
fabulously wealthy in ninety days while losing fifty pounds as well. The way I
see it, if just a small fraction of the overweight and broke people in this country
buy my book then I should be set for life. Imagine the kind of testimonials I
could have with before and after photos. You always see those guys who are on
the infomercials sitting on their Rolls using a cell phone to call their broker
or pilot. I could do the same and show what my clients looked like and how they
were living before using my plan. Of course, I’d have to do some research and
come up with some actual examples of ways that people could get rich in ninety
days. I’ll have to work on that part of it. I’d thought about just listing that
as a chapter entitled “Save your money” but that might not work for most people
in that short of a period of time. It might be a little too simple. I’ll need
more details if this is destined to be a best seller.
The diet part is
the easiest since there are hundreds of methods to lose weight. First you have
to lead into the major causes of being overweight, which I have researched and
can tell you from personal experience is caused mostly by just one factor.
We
eat too much.
My remedy for that is to cut down on the number of calories
we are taking in on a daily basis. People who don’t eat much, weigh less.
Secondly,
I’d have to give the reader some advice on what kind of exercise they need to
be performing in order to lose weight. Here again, from my experience it boils
down to one thing, which is simply, get off the couch and do something, anything.
Walking, hiking, fishing, bowling, baseball, riding a bicycle, swimming, wash
the car, I don’t care. Just so you’re moving and burning some of those calories
you are storing form those cookies and cakes you ate over the holidays.
The
third section of this highly informative book would be some simple hints at what
not to do. These would include suggestions such as, don’t spend all of your money;
don’t buy things you don’t need. Be frugal. Baking cookies is not considered exercise.
Eating a cupcake while playing tennis is not good for you as well. Watching an
exercise video will not build muscle.
I can see how this could prove to
be a very lucrative venture if done properly and could lead to some additional
sequels.
Perhaps my second version could be along the lines of “Sell
Real Estate in your spare time while losing fat and gaining muscle.”
It
might work; let me know if you have any suggestions.
©
Peary Perry
Comments go to pperry@austin.rr.com
Letters
From North America - February
23 , 2005 column |
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