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 Texas : Features : Columns : "The Girl Detective's Theory of Everything"
Right Brain Left Brain
by Elizabeth Bussey Sowdal
Elizabeth Bussey Sowdal
This year has been one doozie of a year for us! So many things have happened. We always have a choice to make when we are confronted with challenges. We can take the stance that Junior and his pals took in the old "Hee Haw" sketch when they sang, "Gloom, despair and agony on me! Deep dark depression, excessive misery! If it weren’t for bad luck I’d have no luck at all . . ." Remember that? Or, and I like this one better, we can look at the "sunny side."

In keeping with looking on the "sunny side," I am very happy to share with you the information that I have broken my arm. I will not take things to a ridiculous extreme by claiming to be happy about it. I am not happy about it. Although it has given me a couple of seconds of amusement, I will admit. Putting on my jeans for example, is good for a giggle. I look like a worm on a hook doing it.

I am resolved to get on with becoming efficient with my left hand. Already my one-handed typing has improved to the point where I am clipping along at a blinding ten or twelve words a minute. I successfully applied mascara with my left hand. I took a phone message which was almost legible. I am making great strides. I mopped floors yesterday using only my left hand and both knees. It was the mopping that got me to thinking that this experience might actually be a very good one for me, might teach me a whole new outlook on things.

I have one of those mops that is made up of strips of material. You dunk it in the water and then you pull a plastic cone down over the strips and twist it to squeeze out the excess water. I know how to do this with my right hand and never even have to give it any thought. But when it came to doing it with my left hand I was flummoxed! I had to take a good look at it to determine where I was going wrong. That got me to thinking about my right brain as opposed to my left brain.

According to the very minimal research I did on the subject, your left brain (which communicates with the right side of your body) is the logical, rational, analytical side of your brain. Your right brain, the one I presume is in charge of me at the moment, is the random, intuitive, subjective side. Hmmmm. I can imagine my poor little right brain startled awake (probably by the huge crash I made when I fell), shaking the sleep out of her eyes and saying, "Yes ma’am! Right Brain reporting for duty!"

Right Brain has been a little confused, but is gaining confidence. After all, she doesn’t usually get called into service for much more than empathizing with the occasional movie heroine or picking out which sweater is more appealing to wear, and now suddenly she has to do everything. Well, almost everything. Left Brain is still doing some whining and is using her analytic propensities to wonder why our splint has to be the approximate size and weight of a pregnant raccoon – but Right Brain and I are trying to ignore all the belly-aching. Right Brain and I keep reminding Left Brain that we might have landed on our chin and broken our neck. Left Brain only sighs morosely at this and points out the ways in which Right Brain is less efficient.

As I first began to explore my Right Brain/Left Brain theory I thought that the experience might be very good for me. I began to think that I would chart some unexplored pathways in my brain and that this might open up a whole new creativity in me. I was very excited by the prospect. Right Brain and I could work on understanding the mysteries of the changing seasons, commune with the pretty yellow butterflies which are passing through just now, and maybe in the process be inspired to write a poem or start some other creative project.

Unfortunately it turns out that Right Brain is a little flabby from all the years of pulling light duty. Right Brain likes to daydream – for hours. Right Brain is used to napping. I guess Left Brain and I will have to get her whipped into shape. Only Left Brain does not want to have anything more to do with the whole mess. Left Brain just wants everything to be back to normal. Left Brain says, "Phooey!" to the "sunny side".
© Elizabeth Bussey Sowdal
"The Girl Detective's Theory of Everything" - December 15, 2005 Column
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This page last modified: December 15, 2005