| |
| | Humor
Column |
"The Girl Detective's
Theory of Everything" |
by Elizabeth Bussey Sowdal |
New
Pickle
Intervention 10-1-08
It is a sad day when
a young adult child is confronted with the realization that her parents are not
super-heroes, that they are not members of some omnipotent, omniscient, immortal
race of superior beings... |
Columns
Bi-weekly
Bag
Lady 9-13-08La
Llorona 8-31-08Ten
Gazillion Dollars! 7-3-08Happy
Trails 5-9-08Crazy
Head 4-24-08Packrat
3-6-08Whacha
Gonna Do With All That Junk? 2-14-08Giiiii-Cher
Popcorn 1-28-08Money
Can’t Buy Me Love 12-16-07Lunching
12-1-07Elective
11-5-07
Thursday.
Blech. 10-5-07Oh,
Honey! 9-15-07Home,
Home In My Range 9-3-07The
Heat Is On! 8-15-07The
Dreaded Friendship Bread 8-2-07A
Blessed Event 7-14-07Why
We Will Never Be Rich 6-30-07For
Sale 6-15-07Career
Alternatives 6-1-07Big
Babies 5-11-07Delicious
Crow 5-1-0712,000
Nights 4-16-07Spring
3-28-07Take
It Where You Can Get It 2-16-07Differently
Cognizant 2-1-07Subtext
1-22-072007
1-1-07What
Next? 12-16-06Baffle
'Em With Grannyspeak! 12-1-06Hey
Good Lookin’! Whatcha Got Cookin’? 11-23-06Shootin’
Marbles With Mama’s Glass Eye 11-17-06Peek-A-Boo!
11-1-06Blame
it on the Boogie 10-15-06Dire
Circumstances 10-1-06Faith
Triumphant 9-11-06No,
Seriously? I Was Kidding. 9-1-06The
Truth About Love 8-15-06Found
Time 8-1-06An
Apology 7-15-06 Morning
Glory 7-1-06Poor
Fatherless Child 6-15-06The
New Thirty 6-1-06Home
Again, Home Again 5-17-06Vacation
Preparation 5-2-06One
or Two Things I Have Learned 4-17-06I'll
Fly Away 4-1-06
Here's a story. It's a true
one, every bit of it, and I think a nice one despite the details, which are not
entirely nice.Gory
Days 3-24-06
"...That was the day that
I found out the whole wide world wasn't filled with best friends of mine..."On
the Cusp 3-9-06
"Okay,
there is something seriously wrong in the Universe and I am not above whining
about it..."
Lightening
the Burden 2-16-06Interview
2-1-06 Bug
Huntin’ 1-15-06True
to Breed 1-2-06Right
Brain Left Brain 12-15-05The
Time is Now 12-1-05
I
am usually fairly busy and my time is often squeezed into a schedule tighter than
one of Madonna’s bustiers...
How
Do I Love Thee?
11-15-05I
Hate My Boss 11-2-05
Too
Thrilling 10-15-05
"I
have never left my family at home and gone off on a trip with a kindred spirit..."Cellfish
10-1-05
"Not only have cell phones pretty
thoroughly destroyed my fantasy life but I am no longer able to tell who is insane."
Be
Prepared! 9-14-05
Finger
Lickin’ Good 9-1-05
"It must be awfully
hard to be the youngest child..."Nesting
8-15-05
"...Friends, something truly wonderful
has happened to me and I want to share it for those of you who are one or two
steps behind me on the life experience ladder...."
The
Pause That Regresses 8-1-05
"Male menopause,
or andropause."
Tornado
Season 7-15-05Dear
Son 7-1-05Lessons
From My Sons 6-15-05
Mominator
6-1-05
"I would like to tell you about going to the gym with my boys..."Paaaar-Teeee!
5-14-05
Boy Sleep Overs, or The End of Civilization
As We Know ItLove
You, Ociffer! 5-1-05 new
"If
I were the Boss of Everything..."Granny
Pants 4-17-05
"I have become the nightmare of my teenage years..."
Men
I Wanted to Marry 4-5-05"Broken
Heart" Syndrome 3-28-05
"The...folks at the famous Johns Hopkins
University School of Medicine announced their findings on stress induced cardiomyopathy,
which they have dubbed "Broken Heart" Syndrome..."
Home
Improvement 3-14-05
"It is the strong marriage that survives each
spring without a tremor or two."
Butter
Manners 3-1-05
The women in
our family can be as sweet and mild as milk through all kinds of adversity. But
everyone has their breaking point...
Big
Business 2-16-05
"Sara Lee owns Hanes.
Got it? Hanes, manufacturer
of stretchy clothing of all types for all ages, sizes and genders. T-shirts. Elastic
waisted knit shorts. Briefs. Huge, forgiving white underpants. Jammies..."
Tow
Trucks and Snugglers and Snuff, Oh My! 2-1-05
Running home to
Oklahoma City to Mama and Papa, with a car full of babies and roadmaps and stuffed
animals and regrets and hopes and ‘Nilla Wafers...
A
Home of My Own 1-16-05New
Year’s Resolutions 1-1-05Love
is in the Hair 12-15-04Sow’s
Ear 12-1-04
"Bad news. Real bad news. I’ve got to have an Outfit..."
In
the Zone 11-15-04
"The world is becoming a bigger and more impersonal
place..."
Ghoulies
and Ghosties and Long-legged Beasties 10-18-04New
Shoes 10-16-04
"... You were not defined by your Easter shoes the
way you were by your school shoes...."
Hit
Me With Your Best Shot 10-6-04
Forty-two is a bad, bad age.
There’s
One Born Every Minute 9-16-04Move
Over Ansel Adams! 9-8-04Dog
Days 8-30-04
©
Elizabeth Bussey Sowdal
Column
begins August, 2004 |
Bio
I was raised in a medium sized town in southwestern
New Mexico by parents who taught me that the Universe is a complicated and moderately
ridiculous place. They also taught me that, "if you got up there on your own,
you can get down on your own," and that, "a little dirt never hurt anyone." Words
of wisdom, and I have done my best to remember them.
After high school
I planned to move to New York and become a world famous novelist. In pursuit of
this goal, I dropped out of the University of New Mexico, got married and began
having children just as hard and fast as I could. Later I came to realize that
this might not have been the wisest career move. But it was certainly a learning
experience.
In an effort to get out of going to my tenth high school
reunion I got divorced and the kids and I started fresh. I continued to write
throughout those years. However, because the children insisted on having multiple
meals a day and were required to wear shoes to school, I decided on nursing as
a good way to supplement our income until the millions began to roll in.
Fourteen years later I am happily married to a very nice man, my children are
bigger and smarter and funnier and better looking than I had any right to expect,
and I am still writing. Just as hard and fast as I can. And, since they have not
yet changed the rule about wearing shoes in schools and other public places, I
also work as a registered nurse in a level one trauma ICU here in Oklahoma City.
Elizabeth Bussey Sowdal
Auugust,
2004 | |
|
