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Two
addendums
to vows help marriage to last
by Delbert
Trew |
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Unlike
the Ten Commandments, which were chiseled in stone to prevent erasure
or change, marriage vows are merely spoken. This allows these sacred
promises to be forgotten, ignored, misunderstood, changed or deleted
by the modern-day theory of "doing whatever feels good at the moment."
Ruth and I entered into our second marriage with considerable experience.
The loss of her husband, one of the missing in Vietnam, left her with
13 years of experience. The loss of my wife of 18 years provided me
with experience dating back seemingly forever.
These losses forced us from comfortable surroundings into the long-forgotten
circulation orbit playing the "head them up and sort them out" game.
After eventually finding each other and agreeing to marry, the frustrations
of the hunting ordeal left us determined to make this marriage last
forever or longer if possible.
We added two more promises to the regular list and wrote them across
our marriage license with ball point pen. We offer these codicils
to all considering marriage.
The No. 1 promise is whoever leaves first has to take the children.
This dire threat will overshadow all problems arising during most
marriages, assuring continuation until after the little darlings leave
home.
The No. 2 promise is whoever leaves first has to take the indebtedness.
This threat will assure wedded bliss until after college graduation
or the house is paid off. At this point, enough years have passed
that the average couple will find it hard to function without the
help of the other.
For example, I would not be able to drive without Ruth's constant
exclamations. She could not go shopping, for only I know where her
favorite stores are located. Her lengthy "honey-do" lists would never
be completed without my expertise.
She attends all bookkeeping and financial chores, and I help her spend.
I act as her faithful guide as the only direction of which she is
positive is up and down. She keeps up with all doctor's appointments,
and I get us there an hour early where we sit and gripe about having
to wait. She does everything inside the house, and I do everything
outside.
Our system must work as we enter 31 years of marriage and still counting.
I am sure the regular vows plus the two added have contributed to
this success, but I believe the dread of having to find and break
in another spouse has provided the most incentive. |
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