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Feeding Frenzy

by Peary Perry
Peary Perry
I think when I started out in the Army; I was drawing about $90 a month. Somehow this didn’t seem to be enough, and I worked hard to get promoted to the next pay level of about $115 a month, as I recall. Now I was on top of the world. High living. Generally ran out of funds about 5 days before the end of the month and I would end up hocking my portable radio or a camera at the local pawnshop. Seemed like I did ok. Of course, Uncle Sam was providing my food, housing and medical needs, for whatever they were worth. Today, well, you know how it is. It seems like the more we make, the more we spend.

There just seems to be more things to spend money on than in earlier days gone by. I was looking out the front window, as I was thinking about this article and it dawned on me that we feed cats, squirrels, raccoons, possums, deer, many birds and Lord only knows what else. Which gets me to thinking…who was taking care of them before we moved here? Is there some sign out there that says…”Mr. and Mrs. Mullet live here…drop on by for a good meal.”? Our place looks like a zoo from time to time. If I try sleeping in on some mornings, I halfway expect some disgruntled forest creature to come and ring the doorbell to get the buffet going. I know the cats watch for me, since they sit in the window in front of my desk and meow like crazy until we go and feed them. The deer have gotten so they stand out in the yard about 30 feet from me as I ladle out their daily corn ration. When I’m late I seem to detect a look of anger in their otherwise sweet faces. They seem to be saying…”Look stupid, we need to eat …now.” I think they secretly talk about me as well. I may need to see a doctor about some of this.

We don’t overfeed, but I think we have inadvertently gotten these critters in the daily habit of stopping by our house for a snack to supplement whatever their normal diet is composed of. It must be common knowledge that we are easy and that guilt works on us. I have to really talk to myself and remind myself that these things have been feeding themselves without my help for many, many years. Am I enabling them to the point that they won’t be self-sufficient? God, I hope not. I have tested this theory out and when we get back from some trip of a couple of days, I’m relieved that there aren’t any little dead bodies laying around on my front porch.. One of the oddest things that have occurred is the emergence of a small honeybee. Not that honeybees are all that strange. Except this one has taken up residence in my radio on the porch. There are 4 little holes in the back of the case where the thing screws together. These are about the size of a pencil. This little bee works and works inside of these little holes. We have yet to figure out what he is doing. He can’t be building a nest…since the holes are so small. He is busy though, just busy as a …., well you know. He’s been there for over a month, every night in and out, doing whatever makes him happy. We have starting thinking that maybe; he’s building himself a little weekend place for himself. You know, away from the maddening hive. Right by the hummingbird feeder. So cheap grub is always available. Kind of a retreat for a hard worker. I don’t have any other ideas about what he could be doing, so this is just as good as any other ones that you can think of.

Feeding the forest isn’t for the faint of heart either. Many times you will go out to the trash and something just leaps out from the night to surprise you. Perhaps they got shut out earlier in the day and wanted to be first in line in the morning. Who knows? All I know is that the guys in the feed store love me and must think I have some huge ranch somewhere. Or maybe they don’t since I hardly look like a cowboy. It’s a tough job, but as they say…somebody has to do it. Of course all of this costs money, which is where I started off in the first place. I’ve looked over the cost and it figures out to me that I can take care of what needs to be done and buy the feed necessary for about what it costs me to eat out at some decent restaurant every month. Now, seeing as I am always looking for a new way to lose weight, this doesn’t seem to be much of a decision.

As always, I’m open for comments of the good kind at www.pearyperr.com. On the other hand I’m never open to negative stuff since it tends to disrupt my even vibration force flow. Send those negatives thoughts to me % Box BR549. Who knows where that came from? See you next week.

© Peary Perry
Letters From North America

August 3, 2007 column
Syndicated weekly in 80 newspapers

Reply to Comments:
Thanks for your comments on my column…you’re correct in the packaging issue…they get harder and harder every time I look around….they even have devices to open these now….as for feeding the deer…..I stopped after visiting a phd over in Llano…he said that corn was only about 4% protein and the rest is sugar……says it is terrible for deer as it is like giving them Snickers…..you might look into it and see if you can find some different protein enriched feed for them……take care and thanks again for writing…. - pp, August 18, 2007
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