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by Peary Perry
Peary Perry

I suppose there are any number of what I would call 'dream jobs' out in this country. You know, these would be jobs where you get paid a huge amount of money for very little work in a great environment. I have been looking for one of these for most of my life, without any success. Everyone I talk to wants the same thing. Lots of money, little work, great hours. None of us have found it yet, but we're all still looking.

One of the jobs that does seem to fit this description would be a movie reviewer. You know, the person who gets paid to watch movies and then write up a report on what they saw. It looks to me as if this is a fairly cush job. I have no idea what these guys get paid, but it seems as if there is a great deal of freedom associated with this position.

First off, how would anyone know what to tell you about your concept of any movie which you have seen? Everyone has a different idea of what the story was about and how it was presented. You might like it and give it a great review and it becomes a box office bomb since everyone else hated it. On the other hand everyone might love something, and you hated it and as a result wrote a terrible review. Who is right and who is wrong?

As they say, beauty and I suppose art as well as a movie are in the eyes of the beholder.

Last week, the new Superman movie came out and since we had our granddaughter staying with us for a few weeks, we took off one afternoon to go see it. I won't give away any of the story or details and will leave it up to you to make up your own mind as to whether you like the film or not. I will tell you it was entertaining and made my granddaughter happy, so it wasn't a wasted afternoon.

Now, the point to all of this is to tell you that the people who reviewed the movie made comments such as "it lacked logic" or "it didn't seem real".

Let's see now, a man called…"SUPERMAN" has the ability to fly, uses X-Ray vision, super hearing and sight and other so called super powers to stop trains, planes and objects from other space from crashing onto the earth…and these are somehow supposed to be logical? He comes from another planet, can be shot by bullets and bazookas and doesn't get hurt. I guess the movie reviewer wants this to be real as well as logical in order to write a good review.

What good would a fantasy film be if it had to be logical? It has to be illogical in order to be a fantasy, isn't that right? How many fantasy films have you ever seem that are totally believable? That's what makes them fantasies in the first place.

One of the reviewers made this comment…"I found parts of this movie, hard to believe."

Parts of this movie? How about this entire movie? I mean, what is believable about some guy in tights saving the world from death and destruction 24/7, 365 days a year? How can he ever sleep? There is something bad happening in the world at all times. If he was really on the ball and serious about stopping crime, how does he have time to eat in the US of A when there is someone being mugged or robbed in China? If this guy was really serious about crime reduction, then how can he dare be so selfish as to have any kind of personal life with Lois Lane?

On that note, how can he hold down a responsible job at the Daily Planet and get by with being absent all of the time when danger or emergencies present themselves anywhere in the world? Looks to me as if his boss doesn't really keep tabs on his employees if he hasn't noticed that Clark Kent is always missing whenever there is an earthquake in Borneo or a mudslide in California.

Something that has always bothered me is his Superman suit. How does he keep it under his regular clothes without it being all crushed up and wrinkled? I mean, look at his cape. This isn't a small thing and we have to accept that he wears this under his go to work suit and nobody notices it? I defy you to hang a bed sheet around your neck and then try and wear a suit or dress over it without it looking weird. Another thing, he always wears white shirts to work, can't you see the red suit underneath? If I wore a red tee shirt and then a white shirt over it, you could see it plain as day. And what about those boots? Where does he keep them?

Besides these little questions, I've always wondered what he does with the stuff he takes off? Where does he stash these things? I never see him carrying a gym bag around as he flies around the world at lightening speeds. So, does he just leave this stuff in the phone booth where he changes clothes and hopes no one steals them before he can get back? Besides that, who has phone booths these days anyway? In most places they won't let you use the bathrooms unless you are a customer, so he can't just run into some sandwich shop and ask to use the men's room unless he buys some gum or a pizza. Besides that, how can he explain that he walked into a bathroom stall in a business suit and runs out in his red Superman suit? Isn't this a little suspicious? The local vice squad would be on the lookout for him in no time.

Now those things do defy logic, don't they?

© Peary Perry
Letters From North America >

July 6, 2006 column
Syndicated weekly in 80 newspapers
Comments go to www.pearyperry.com

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