a recent speech, we mentioned the use of ugly expressions by East
Texans. A friend came by afterward with a few additions to our list,
and concluded our conversation with the observation, "There must be
a million of them floating around."
Ugly expressions are, by far, the most popular subject of idioms used
by East Texas' good
ol' boys. To bring you up to date on the accumulation, here is a partial
list of ugly sayings used to describe men and women alike.
"She's so ugly she could snag lightning."
"She's so ugly she has to beat her feet to go to bed with her."
"So ugly he has to sneak up on a glass of water to get a drink." "That
family is so ugly they could sit behind a tombstone and hatch ghosts."
"He has a head like a stomped possum."
"She was ugly enough to scare a haunt up a thorn bush."
"She's twice ugly. Pretty ugly and pretty likely to stay that way."
"Never marry an ugly girl. She's hard to get shed of."
"She's tougher than a pig's nose and likely to stay that way."
"She was whipped by an ugly stick."
"He looks like the dogs have kept him under the house."
"She's plain as grass."
"Ugliness is the guardian of women."
"She's so ugly she'd sour milk."
"She's so homely she'd stunt a sour pickle."
"She'd kill young grass with her looks."
"He sure ain't nothing to write home about."
"She's so ugly she'd scare day into night."
"She's so ugly she'd kill waist-high cotton."
"He's coyote ugly."
"We hung pork chops around his neck so the dogs would play with him."
"Uglier than wolf pine."
"She wasn't hit with an ugly stick. The whole tree fell on her."
"Beauty is skin deep, ugly is clean to the bone. When beauty fades,
ugly holds its own."
"Her face has done wore out two bodies."
"She's make a freight train hit a dirt road."
"He was all broke out with ugly."
"She's got marks all over her body where folks keep touching her with
a ten-foot pole."
"He was so ugly his stickhorse throwed him."
"He's so ugly he has to sneak up on a mirror."
"He's ugly as a tow sack shirt."
"So ugly the tide won't take her out."
"His mama takes him everywhere so she won't have to say goodbye to
"He looks like he was pulled through a knothole backwards."
"She can't help being ugly, but she could stay home."
"He's ugly as grandpa's toenails."
"We looked up ugly in the dictionary, and found her picture."
All Things Historical
A syndicated column in 70 East Texas newspapers
(Bob Bowman of Lufkin is the author of more than 40 books about East