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Night
of the Iguana x 11,315
The (Unauthorized) Biography of
"Ol'
Rip",
The Entombed Horned Toad of Eastland County or
Where Was PETA When We Really Needed Them?
by Brewster
Hudspeth |
| | Ol'
Rip lying in state
Photo courtesy of TXDoT |
| Ol'
Rip didn't want his fifteen minutes of fame. It was thrust upon him. He was Young
Rip when he crossed paths with E. E. Wood, electrician and part-time cornet player
with the Eastland Municipal
Band. He was Ripley to his mother who had sent him to the store for a box of red
ants. Mr. Wood
was on his way to the laying of the cornerstone for the new Eastland
County Courthouse. The year was 1897 and people were starved for entertainment.
So much so, that horned toads were regarded as pets. Even if they never brought
the paper in or rolled over, people would watch their little wart-covered bodies
sit immobile for hours. This was before Television, this was before Radio. Hell,
if Edison hadn't invented the electric light, Mr. Woods wouldn't have been an
electrician. Anyway, on the way to the festivities, Ripley scurried in front of
Mr. Woods and changed his life forever. E. E. grabbed the unfortunate creature
and put him in his pocket planning to present him to his sons at the end of the
day. |
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"I'm a horned
frog from Texas"
(NOT Ol' Rip)
1910 postcard courtesy rootsweb.com/~txgenweb// postcards/Index.html |
| Mr. Woods
arrived at the site just in time to see the town fathers place various articles
into the cornerstone/time capsule. Everyday items to be sure, but things that
loomed large in the everyday lives of Eastland
citizens. A few coins, a Bible, a newspaper and a bottle of whiskey had already
been placed inside when the Mayor asked if anyone had anything else to contribute.
Ripley chose that moment to scratch his little pointed head and Mr. Woods suddenly
remembered he had something to offer. Everyone laughed when Ripley was lowered
by his tail into his new home, for these were fun loving people who would've put
someone's car keys in there, if cars had been invented. The cornerstone was sealed
and Rip's mother and siblings starved for want of the ants Rip was to bring home.
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| Even
in 1897 they didn't build things "like they used to" and 31 years later
the courthouse needed to be replaced. When news of the demolition was announced
in the paper, a now remorseful Mr. Woods reminded everyone that a horned toad
had been placed in the cornerstone. This would be an opportunity to see if the
Indian legend of the toad's longevity was true. Word spread and a crowd of 4,000
people showed up. Most of them left when they discovered it wasn't a hanging,
but enough were there to witness Rip's resurrection. His seemingly lifeless body
twitched and he seemed to inflate himself as he breathed the fresh air. Eastlanders
went wild. Westlanders went wild. The bottle of 31 year old whiskey disappeared.
Rip went on tour. He went to Washington D.C. and sat on the President's desk (This
was Calvin Coolidge, a man only slightly more talkative than Rip), he went to
St. Louis, he made public service announcements and endorsed tennis shoes. Robert
Ripley (no relation) featured him in his "Believe It Or Not" column
and newsreels showed Rip's face on movie screens across the land. Warts and all. It's
too late to make a long story short, so I'll leave out his kidnapping. Rip spent
what were to be the last months of his life in Mr. Woods front window in a goldfish
bowl sunning himself or burrowing in the sand. Rip had literally found his place
in the sun. Neighborhood children caught red ants by the bushel for Rip. But in
February a Norther blew in and the temperature dropped. While the Woods slept
under quilts, Rip froze in the unheated front room. Eastland County wept. The
Nation mourned. A casket company provided a glass case, a monument company a marble
base, and a taxidermist performed the sad task for free. Like Lenin, Stalin and
Ho Chi Minh, Rip was put on public display. (It was never proven that Rip was,
or ever had been a party member). Eastland's favorite toad, the reptile that brought
fame to a otherwise sleepy town can be viewed to this very day in the Eastland
County Courthouse. (North side.) |
| | Eastland
County Courthouse
"The Home of Old Rip"
Postcard courtesy
rootsweb.com/~txgenweb// postcards/Index.html |
| Editor's
note: As a public service announcement, we would like to point out that
The Texas Horned Toad is an endangered species and should not be placed in cornerstones.
It was this sort of nonsense that put them on the endangered list. Mere possession
of one can result in a $500.00 fine and a second conviction can result in a 90
day jail term and a $1000.00 fine. If you are found with a horned toad and
a Barton Creek Salamander you will be drawn and quartered by Clydesdale horses. Additional
note: If this story seems vaguely familiar, you might remember the Warner
Brother's cartoon from the fifties in which a bullfrog is awakened from a New
York City building being razed and sings ragtime tunes while wearing a top hat
and spats. It had to be Rip that inspired Chuck Jones and Tex Avery who no doubt
would've remembered the newsreels from their childhood. Like the alligators in
the NYC sewers, Rip is perhaps one of the very first "Urban Legends".
As Michigan J. Frog, he continues to be used as logo/spokesfrog for the WB Television
Network. |
©
John Troesser
See Eastland,
Texas
Eastland
County Courthouse
Sagging
Symbols by Dwight Young
Horny
Toad Hypnosis by Clay Coppedge Book
Your Hotel Here & Save
Eastland
Hotels >
Readers' Comments:
"We enjoyed reading the article
about Ol' Rip. My husband, Daniel Wood is the grandson of E.E. Wood., so we have
heard this story first hand from Danny's father, Billy Blake Wood. Thank you again
for interesting reading. It was nice to have proof to my co-workers that this
is a true story." - Cindy Wood, 2001 |
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