TexasEscapes.com HOME Welcome to Texas Escapes
A magazine written by Texas
Custom Search
New   |   Texas Towns   |   Ghost Towns   |   Counties   |   Trips   |   Features   |   Columns   |   Architecture   |   Images   |   Archives   |   Site Map


Columns




Counties
Texas Counties

Towns a-Z
Texas Towns
A - Z

Texas | Columns | "Quips and Salsa"

To drive or
not to drive

by Jase Graves
Jase Graves

Along with identifying as "Swifties," ignoring the reported Chinese threat of bad dancing posed by TikTok, and pretending that plant-based meat is actually edible, many young people in America are engaging in another fascinating trend—not driving.

According to recent surveys, around 20% fewer teens of driving age are getting their driver's licenses as compared to the glorious 1980s. Much to the relief of my insurance premiums, our youngest daughter, who recently turned 16, is one of these vehicular agnostics.

Speaking of the 1980s, the nanosecond I turned 16, I raced like a scalded ape (wearing embarrassingly snug Ocean Pacific shorts) to the local DPS office for my license. I then warted my dad until he took me to a used car lot to pick up the coolest vehicle ever to leak antifreeze into the front passenger floorboard—a sleek, black 1985 Oldsmobile Calais. Yes, I literally drove it until it bled to death.

Jase Graves With Calais
Jase Graves with Calais

My two older daughters were also enthusiastic to begin testing our credit limits as soon as they were eligible to drive. We bought both of them very nice pre-owned Nissans, which have become grave threats to street curbs and parking blocks throughout the State of Texas. They also have developed acute phobias of car washes, and they only clean their vehicles when I threaten to curtail their Starbucks privileges.

In my effort to afford my daughters the responsibility of soiling their own vehicles, I continue to drive what could once have been described as a 2013 Ford Expedition. Having apparently reached its self-destruct date, it has now become little more than a chronic loiterer in auto service departments—held together with road tar and melted gummi bears. Instead of striking fear into my heart, the warm glow of the check-engine light is almost comforting-because I know that at least something on the vehicle still works properly.

When I first took my reluctant youngest daughter out to see what it was like to sit behind the wheel, I did my best to create a non-threatening experience for her. I chose an empty Baptist church parking lot for our practice session, praying that the Lord would bless our time together and that there wouldn't be an impromptu covered-dish supper that day.

I actually thought the practice went pretty smoothly. There was very little screaming or crying—and my daughter remained fairly composed, as well. Our good old Expedition even behaved throughout the ordeal—saving the major engine failure for the drive home.

But, for whatever reason, the experience made her even more uneasy about learning to drive. (I think she was traumatized about having to survive for more than twenty minutes without watching a YouTube video.)

A few days later, she came to me and sweetly said, "Dad, I'm just not ready to drive, yet."

And that's fine with me. Kids seem to grow up too fast these days, anyway, and I'm more than happy to let her hang on to childhood for a little bit longer.

I'm confident that we'll be watching her pull out of the driveway and hit the curb soon enough. Until then, she can ride around with me in the Expedition—-watching for the check-engine light, listening to Taylor Swift and spilling a few more gummi bears.
© Jase Graves
"Quips and Salsa" 3-7-2023 column



Jase Grave's "Quips and Salsa" columns
Humor


  • My baby is 240 months old 2-20-23
  • I've been blinged 2-6-23
  • Hot for hot chocolate 1-24-23
  • Escape from New York and Southwest Airlines 1-10-23
  • "Let's take a trip for the holidays," they said 12-22-22

    more »


  • Texas Escapes Online Magazine »   Archive Issues » Home »
    TEXAS TOWNS & COUNTIES TEXAS LANDMARKS & IMAGES TEXAS HISTORY & CULTURE TEXAS OUTDOORS MORE
    Texas Counties
    Texas Towns A-Z
    Texas Ghost Towns

    TEXAS REGIONS:
    Central Texas North
    Central Texas South
    Texas Gulf Coast
    Texas Panhandle
    Texas Hill Country
    East Texas
    South Texas
    West Texas

    Courthouses
    Jails
    Churches
    Schoolhouses
    Bridges
    Theaters
    Depots
    Rooms with a Past
    Monuments
    Statues

    Gas Stations
    Post Offices
    Museums
    Water Towers
    Grain Elevators
    Cotton Gins
    Lodges
    Stores
    Banks

    Vintage Photos
    Historic Trees
    Cemeteries
    Old Neon
    Ghost Signs
    Signs
    Murals
    Gargoyles
    Pitted Dates
    Cornerstones
    Then & Now

    Columns: History/Opinion
    Texas History
    Small Town Sagas
    Black History
    WWII
    Texas Centennial
    Ghosts
    People
    Animals
    Food
    Music
    Art

    Books
    Cotton
    Texas Railroads

    Texas Trips
    Texas Drives
    Texas State Parks
    Texas Rivers
    Texas Lakes
    Texas Forts
    Texas Trails
    Texas Maps
    USA
    MEXICO
    HOTELS

    Site Map
    About Us
    Privacy Statement
    Disclaimer
    Contributors
    Staff
    Contact Us

     
    Website Content Copyright Texas Escapes LLC. All Rights Reserved