TexasEscapes.com HOME Welcome to Texas Escapes
A magazine written by Texas
Custom Search
New   |   Texas Towns   |   Ghost Towns   |   Counties   |   Trips   |   Features   |   Columns   |   Architecture   |   Images   |   Archives   |   Site Map


Columns



Texas | Columns | "Quips and Salsa"

Do the Charleston - if you have the grits


by Jase Graves
Jase Graves

It's time for another installment of "Places you should go before you can't tell a presidential executive order document from one of your White House German Shepherd's training pads!" Yes, recently my wife and three teenage daughters took a week-long family trip to Charleston, SC — also known as "The city where every meal will cost you at least two C-notes."

Because we enjoy turning our buns into geological formations, we drove the entire 14-hour trip from East Texas to downtown Charleston, stopping only occasionally to sample the delights of various southern powder rooms, usually in rural gas stations tempting us with boiled peanuts and pickles in a bag.

Similar to nearby Savannah, GA, where we dislocated our credit on vacation a couple of years ago, we noticed that almost everything in Charleston is extremely historical, meaning it costs a lot of money to see, and it usually has a gift shop selling souvenir refrigerator magnets. In fact, upon our arrival, we immediately forked over a chunk of change to a tour company that hauled us around town in a historical-looking wagon behind a Belgian draft horse's fragrant hind quarters as the guide showed us the historical sideways-facing single houses with their grand piazzas — and other historical stuff.

Because we still hadn't had enough historicalness, we spent a couple of more hours (and another hundred bucks) on a guided walking tour down cobblestone side streets and through historical alleyways where the horse's hind quarters don't fit.

The historical highlight of our trip was a jaunt aboard the Spirit of the Lowcountry across Charleston Harbor to legendary Fort Sumter. For about the price of one of my daughters' prom dresses, your family can cruise across the harbor and occasionally glance up from their cell phones to see the majestic Arthur Ravenel Jr. Bridge, Castle Pinckney, and finally, Fort Sumter — where the first shots of the Civil War were fired. Although the tour of the fort itself was educational and moving, the cruise back to Liberty Square included the bonus of a pod of dolphins racing within inches of where we were standing on the lower deck at the bow of the boat-and the dolphins didn't even charge extra.

After each of these tours, we were feeling pretty darn historical ourselves — and hungry — even hungry enough to eat something like shrimp and grits. And to be honest, touring the historical aspects of Charleston was really just something for us to do between meals. Devouring vast quantities of Lowcountry fare took up the bulk of our itinerary.

We broke the bank (and our waistbands) at eateries like Poogan's Porch, Millers All Day, Toast! All Day, Fleet Landing and Rodney Scott's Whole Hog BBQ, where we enjoyed some of the most scrumptious carbohydrates and saturated fats that we'd had since we left home. And, yes, Charleston restaurants can even make a dish like shrimp and grits edible, and she-crab soup seem non-hazardous.

Our trip to Charleston, SC, was a truly wonderful experience, and I encourage you to plan a visit as soon as you get the chance (or win the lottery). Our three daughters even appreciated it, except for the walking, stair climbing, and other activities requiring physical movement.

In addition to thoroughly enjoying the food, we learned a lot of the history surrounding this charming city and its importance in shaping our country's heritage — and we've got the refrigerator magnets to prove it.


Jase Graves
"Quips and Salsa" 5-3-21 column



Jase Grave's "Quips and Salsa" columns
Humor


  • Claim the right to dust off your gun 4-19-21
  • Defending the Karens 4-5-21
  • Resurrecting Easter 3-22-21
  • When Texas Froze Over 3-9-21
  • New Victims of Cancel Culture 2-22-21

    more »


  • More Columns

    Texas Escapes Online Magazine »   Archive Issues » Home »
    TEXAS TOWNS & COUNTIES TEXAS LANDMARKS & IMAGES TEXAS HISTORY & CULTURE TEXAS OUTDOORS MORE
    Texas Counties
    Texas Towns A-Z
    Texas Ghost Towns

    TEXAS REGIONS:
    Central Texas North
    Central Texas South
    Texas Gulf Coast
    Texas Panhandle
    Texas Hill Country
    East Texas
    South Texas
    West Texas

    Courthouses
    Jails
    Churches
    Schoolhouses
    Bridges
    Theaters
    Depots
    Rooms with a Past
    Monuments
    Statues

    Gas Stations
    Post Offices
    Museums
    Water Towers
    Grain Elevators
    Cotton Gins
    Lodges
    Stores
    Banks

    Vintage Photos
    Historic Trees
    Cemeteries
    Old Neon
    Ghost Signs
    Signs
    Murals
    Gargoyles
    Pitted Dates
    Cornerstones
    Then & Now

    Columns: History/Opinion
    Texas History
    Small Town Sagas
    Black History
    WWII
    Texas Centennial
    Ghosts
    People
    Animals
    Food
    Music
    Art

    Books
    Cotton
    Texas Railroads

    Texas Trips
    Texas Drives
    Texas State Parks
    Texas Rivers
    Texas Lakes
    Texas Forts
    Texas Trails
    Texas Maps
    USA
    MEXICO
    HOTELS

    Site Map
    About Us
    Privacy Statement
    Disclaimer
    Contributors
    Staff
    Contact Us

     
    Website Content Copyright Texas Escapes LLC. All Rights Reserved