TexasEscapes.com HOME Welcome to Texas Escapes
A magazine written by Texas
Custom Search
New   |   Texas Towns   |   Ghost Towns   |   Counties   |   Trips   |   Features   |   Columns   |   Architecture   |   Images   |   Archives   |   Site Map


Columns



Texas | Columns | "Quips and Salsa"

New Victims of Cancel Culture

by Jase Graves
Jase Graves

Along with uplifting news stories about the COVID-19 variants, former President Trump's second impeachment trial, and Tom Brady's unmitigated gall to continue winning Super Bowls that include terrible halftime entertainment, we've also been learning about new victims of the so-called "cancel culture," in which individuals are randomly selected to be ostracized from the "We're Good and You're a Stinky Poo-Poo Head Club" of social and professional life.

Just recently, "The Mandalorian" star Gina Carano was "canceled" by Lucasfilm for her offensive social media posts-and for having larger biceps than most of her male co-stars. (Ironically, Baby Yoda continues to maintain celebrity status, even after heartlessly devouring several of the alien Frog Lady's tadpole eggs in season 2.)

Instead of wallowing in the controversy of the cancel culture's inconsistencies, I'd like to propose that we put this phenomenon to good use by cancelling some of the more egregious annoyances inflicted upon the American people-especially me.

First, I say we cancel the way laundry detergent bottles are designed to permanently hold hostage at least one full underwear load's worth of liquid when the container is supposedly empty. Sure, I could solve the problem by using those pre-measured Tide pods, but then I'd have to worry about my daughters' two doglets accidentally swallowing them and destroying even more of my grass, notwithstanding the yard's subsequent fresh, clean scent.

Speaking of pets and underwear, I wish the good Lord would cancel static electricity during the winter months. Not only does it cause the doglets to drag most of the grass they kill back into the house with them, but there's also the problem of its effect on my wife's and daughters' undergarments. Apparently, ladies' unmentionables are electrically predisposed to adhere to the lower inside legs of my pants when they come out of the dryer, choosing only to release themselves while I'm at work, the gym, or at church. Try explaining that to your boss-or a deacon.

Another candidate for cancellation is the practice of restaurants seating screaming children within shattering distance of my eardrums. During an outing for dinner at the local Olive Garden with my wife and three teenage daughters, the only screaming I should hear is my own when I get the bill. Now, don't get me wrong. I understand that families with small children have every right to go out to eat at restaurants. I just wish they were seated in a more distant location, like Greenland.

Another candidate for cancellation is the robocall I get repeatedly from exotic cities like Snowflake, Arizona, with that guy claiming he has spent every waking moment trying to contact me about my car's extended warranty. First of all, what does this dude know about the non-existent warranty on my 2013 Ford Expedition that vaguely smells like a wet sock and has a five-year-old Starbuck's coffee beverage stain on the rear floorboard? Secondly, I really don't appreciate the massive letdown I experience after having been so excited and intrigued that I'm receiving a call from Snowflake, Arizona, rather than from one of my three daughters asking for cash.

In addition to the everyday aggravations noted above, there are numerous other irritating aspects of life to criticize and even banish without turning on our fellow citizens. While I certainly believe strongly in accepting consequences for our choices, I say we follow the example of the Bible (and my wife when I screw up) to admonish one another, bear with one another and ultimately forgive one another. In other words, we should hold fast to our beliefs, accept our differences and live in a spirit of love and unity-unless, of course, you bring your screaming kid with you to the Olive Garden.

Jase Graves
"Quips and Salsa" 2-22-21 column



Jase Grave's "Quips and Salsa" columns
Humor


  • Climate change or wacky winter weather 2-8-21
  • Get your mind off politics 1-25-21
  • New Year's Retribution 1-11-21
  • 2020-A Reluctant Retrospect 12-28-20
  • All I want for Christmas is the new vaccine! 12-14-20

    more »


  • More Columns

    Texas Escapes Online Magazine »   Archive Issues » Home »
    TEXAS TOWNS & COUNTIES TEXAS LANDMARKS & IMAGES TEXAS HISTORY & CULTURE TEXAS OUTDOORS MORE
    Texas Counties
    Texas Towns A-Z
    Texas Ghost Towns

    TEXAS REGIONS:
    Central Texas North
    Central Texas South
    Texas Gulf Coast
    Texas Panhandle
    Texas Hill Country
    East Texas
    South Texas
    West Texas

    Courthouses
    Jails
    Churches
    Schoolhouses
    Bridges
    Theaters
    Depots
    Rooms with a Past
    Monuments
    Statues

    Gas Stations
    Post Offices
    Museums
    Water Towers
    Grain Elevators
    Cotton Gins
    Lodges
    Stores
    Banks

    Vintage Photos
    Historic Trees
    Cemeteries
    Old Neon
    Ghost Signs
    Signs
    Murals
    Gargoyles
    Pitted Dates
    Cornerstones
    Then & Now

    Columns: History/Opinion
    Texas History
    Small Town Sagas
    Black History
    WWII
    Texas Centennial
    Ghosts
    People
    Animals
    Food
    Music
    Art

    Books
    Cotton
    Texas Railroads

    Texas Trips
    Texas Drives
    Texas State Parks
    Texas Rivers
    Texas Lakes
    Texas Forts
    Texas Trails
    Texas Maps
    USA
    MEXICO
    HOTELS

    Site Map
    About Us
    Privacy Statement
    Disclaimer
    Contributors
    Staff
    Contact Us

     
    Website Content Copyright Texas Escapes LLC. All Rights Reserved