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Columns | "A Balloon In Cactus"

Woof!

by Maggie Van Ostrand
Maggie Van Ostrand
The red light on my old landline was blinking when I returned from a heart wrenching trip to the vet's. It was Cejas's last Pupmobile ride. I stared at the light.

People like me save everything: swizzle sticks from famous places, keys to houses and old bicycles; landline messages from people no longer living. It was my way of holding onto them, when a simpler way would've been to keep a journal. The light was still blinking.

I hit Play.

A male voice. "Woof. Woof. Woof." Then a hang up. "Woof" had been the name of Cejas's column.

What?? I hit Play again. Or thought I had. Frenzied by strong emotions, I'd unintentionally hit "Delete."

What "fresh hell" is this? Was I losing my mind? Wait. Perhaps the caller also left a message on my cell. Yes, there it was again in Voice Mail. "Woof. Woof. Woof.," but this time, a Denver number appeared on the screen. I know only one person in Denver, and the number was not his.

I called the number anyway, and my friend answered. "Yes," he chuckled, "I was responding to the message you left on your phone."

"What message?" I said, "What are you talking about?"

"Your message said you were out walking the dog and that I could also leave a message for Cejas."

I vaguely remembered recording that "greeting" on the cell, not the landline. Yet, it was the landline's blinking light that caught my attention, leading me to the cell. Stressed out by the loss of Cejas, it's highly unlikely that I would have otherwise checked Voice Mail.

Horrified to learn that Cejas had just passed away hours ago, my friend apologized profusely at his gaffe. He'd intended only to make me laugh when I heard his message "for the dog." - and I hadn't recognized the phone number because he'd finally stopped resisting modernity, and bought a cell.

Was that "Woof" message really my high-spirited Cejas, sending a signal from somewhere over the Rainbow? Could be - after all, Cejas always had a way with word.

Woof!

© Maggie Van Ostrand
"A Balloon In Cactus" - May 7, 2020 column




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