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  • Texas | Columns | "Texas Tales"

    "Dear Papa's 'Rules'"
    or
    Give Pease a Chance

    by Mike Cox
    Mike Cox

    Every parent who has ever helped their child move into a dorm room on a hot summer day at the beginning of their freshman year in college will understand the letter former Gov. E.M. Pease sent to one of his daughters in 1866.

    Pease wrote the letter on Jan. 3 that year, not quite eight months after the Civil War ended. Her college education perhaps delayed because of the war, his daughter apparently had just left home for school. Addressed to “My Dearest Daughter,” the letter contained 13 rules –and that’s what he called them – for her to abide by while in school.

    While Pease did not use his daughter’s name, he probably was writing his oldest daughter, Carrie Augusta. She was born in 1851 and given that secondary school did not last as long then as it does now, she would have been college age in 1866.

    “I wish you to read over these rules occasionally, and try to observe them,” he wrote.

    Despite the passage of nearly a century-and-a-half, the rules still make pretty good sense, especially from the perspective of parents with kids in college. The rules also reflect on the character of the man who promulgated them, one of the better-regarded 19th century Texas chief executives. He served from 1853 to 1857 and from 1867 to 1869 during Reconstruction.

    Pease’s first rule was for his daughter to “be particular to observe all the rules of the Institution.” (The letter does not mention what school his daughter was attending, but his second daughter Julie went to Vasser.) Rule number two was to go to church every Sunday “when your health permits.”

    The third rule reminded her to “be always kind and pleasant to your teacher and follow their directions. It will make them kind and attentive to you.”

    The former governor’s fourth rule had to do with learning skills. “If there is anything in your studies that you do not fully understand,” he wrote, “always ask your teachers to explain it. This will show them that you are interested in what you are doing and make them [be] more patient with you.”

    Rule five also centered on scholastic behavior: “Never practice any deception towards your Teachers or any person, but explain frankly if you have violated any rule or done anything wrong,” Pease wrote.

    The next subset of rules focused on self-management and personal conduct.

    “When you have any thing to do,” Pease wrote, “do it at once, and you will always have plenty of leisure. It is only people who put off doing things when they ought to be done, that have no leisure.”

    Rules seven and eight had to do with character. The seventh urged his daughter to avoid having any disputes with her fellow students or anyone else, for that matter. “When you find that conversation is tending that way, drop it and introduce some new subject,” he advised. The other rule directed his daughter, in the event she did an injustsice to anyone “in speech, action or thought” to “take the first opportunity to correct it.”

    The next group of rules set forth by the former governor involved organization: “Always put every thing in its proper place, when you have done using it.” This, he pointed out, “will save you much trouble in looking for things when you want them, and will soon become a habit with you.”

    In his 10th rule, Pease directed his daughter to always keep herself, her clothing and her shoes clean. In line with that, his 11th rule urged his daughter to mend her clothing as soon as it needed mending.

    The governor’s next-to-the-last rule, another practical injunction, was for his daughter to “Make a little book of a sheet or two of paper, and write down every article of clothing that you send to the wash, and when they come back compare them with your list and if any thing is missing, hunt it up at once.”

    Pease’s final rule is perhaps the most timeless: “Write to your Mama and Papa at least once each week.” To make that easier, he suggested that his daughter pick a certain day for mailing her letter and “never let that day pass without doing it [even if] it contains no more than ten lines.”

    Further, he urged his daughter to “write…freely about all your troubles and vexations, and they [he and his wife] will sympathize with and advise you.”

    Finally, Pease asked his daughter to remember that her parents “are the truest friends you can have.” He ended the letter with, “Your dear Papa.”


    © Mike Cox - November 13, 2012 column
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